HOLLYWOOD, CA — After director Michael Bay blows the Thundercats movie, PopCap Games reportedly has plans to further suckify the franchise by releasing Thundercats: The Video Game as yet another Bejeweled clone.
“We have full …
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WASHINGTON, DC — Bethesda has officially announced that their hotly anticipated title Fallout: New Vegas will indeed mirror every aspect that Las Vegas is famous for, including exotic dance clubs. Unfortunately for gamers, strip clubs in a post-apocalyptic wasteland might not yield the most desirable of results. In many cases, the dancers can and will achieve unprecedented levels of heinous.
“Originally we were going to just allow human women dance, however dirty they might be,” said game designer Emil Pagliarulo. “But fearing racism accusations or any kind of popular backlash, we decided to make all the clubs Equal Opportunity so they may employ female ghouls as well.”
Being that bottle caps are the accepted form of currency in the world of Fallout, all dancers will come equipped with rusty coin belts as opposed to garters to add yet another realistic edge.
Pervert beware.
EXISTENCE, EARTH — In a depressing sequence of events, virtual gaming has apparently taken a back seat to the trials set forth by a game some call “Real-Life”, despite its shortcomings to more modern first-person …
If you do not win, and win decisively, The Internet will never let you forget.
TOKYO, JAPAN — About an hour after Square Enix took over Eidos Game Studios, Square’s Lead Game Designer, Maikeru Rairi, unveiled his plans for a Final Fantasy game featuring Lara Croft.
“This corporate takeover is not …
This is one of Bullfrog’s best games. Along with Theme Park, Theme Hospital was one of the first games that brought sim games to the popular forefront. Its genes survive to this day, forming the …
THE WEB, EARTH — The Internet today unanimously voted SuperBlipsBros.com the worst Website name in the world.
According to the results from SlightlyScience Inc., an unprecedented twenty million people responded to the month-long poll which asked …
RAPTURE, UNDER THE SEA — After the controversy surrounding Damori Miles’ death, Bethesda Game Studios has issued its own response with a plan that will effectively end any possible chance of violence or harm that …
THE GUTTER, ALBION — With rampant spending and the cancerous mountain of debt it has created, the Tax Man is apparently not satisfied with blasting the life out of people on Earth. Reportedly, He has …
One of the first sequels worth talking about, Warcraft 2 brought the RTS genre to my attention before I was cool enough to even refer to the genre by an acronym.
I’ve always wondered why …
If there is a world record to how many times players saved, then loaded a file within a game, X-COM: UFO Defense would get a shiny green ribbon in the mail. A soldier stub his …
TOKYO, JAPAN — Sony Senior Executive Andre Alfort has issued an official statement today that gamers worldwide need to “…stop hanging off Apple’s balls.” This statement comes after the massive swell of traction the iPhone …
If you do happen to return after death, come as a gatling gun.
PARIS, FRANCE — In training for his next appearance in Punch Out!! for the Wii, Glass Joe managed to stay upright for a solid minute with some of our handpicked, frail-looking No-Pause staff members. His …
